EDITORIAL

This editorial was shouted aloud by Leon Peanut, the loveable fu-manchu-sporting guy who can be spotted at concerts all over New Jersey, and outside of a laundromat in Princeton. This week’s rant was transcribed by Brett Davis.

HEY ASSHOLES, IT’S LEON PEANUT! I am the newest contributor to Glimdropper. First off, I lost my glasses at the Go-Go Banshees show at Maxwell’s. Typically, I wouldn’t assume people are thieves but I noticed Gary, the lead singer lookin at me funny–CALL IT A HUNCH! I don’t need the glasses as they were purely cosmetic, but if anybody sees Gary, JUMP HIM FOR LEON!

ANOTHER COMPLAINT! I wandered into a free Doomskuller show at the Meatlocker in Montclair the other night and all of these kids complained about my smoking. LOOK ASSHOLES! IT’S ROCK N’ ROLL! People smoke at rock shows! Yes, I was smoking crack. No, I wasn’t blowing it in teenagers’ faces like they said when they tried to kick me out.

ALSO MAKING ME ANGRY! I went to go see The Grumpy Fucks at Camp Cornflake in New Brunswick last weekend. HOMEOWNERS (of which I am not), if you put on a rock show in your house, you’re inviting strangers into it. YOU SHOULD KNOW A FEW THINGS:

Rule Number One: ENOUGH WITH THE DIRTY LOOKS, GIRLS!

Rule Number Two: If food is out, people are gonna eat it!

Rule Number…I’ve lost count: if doors are open, people are gonna snoop through your clothes!

And the Golden Rule: If your cat is running around, you are probably not a good pet owner and your cat (that I named Joey, after the Ramone) needs to be taken care of by somebody that knows how to take care of a cat (like me BECAUSE I HAVE SEVEN despite not owning a home, they come to me for food in designated areas). JESUS, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!

Finally, some news and notes:

• At the Beach Dads show in Newark, I took someone’s synthesizer. I THOUGHT IT WAS MINE. I left it in the Newark Penn train station near the restrooms. Get it there. SORRY.
• I have stopped going to church because the priest was givin’ me the evil eye.
• IT HAS BEEN 732 DAYS SINCE I WAS BANNED FROM THE WFMU STUDIOS BECAUSE OF THEIR SILLY GUN RULE. SIGN MY PETITION TO CHANGE IT!
• I have to find my “street dentist” to fix this crumbly black stuff on my gums before I go see that pretty lead singer from The Catfancies tonight at Vintage Vinyl BECAUSE YES I WILL JUMP ONSTAGE AND KISS HER.

OKAY ASSHOLE, ARE WE DONE HERE!?